


I Miss You

by DammitWinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Death, F/M, Feels, First time writer, I'm Bad At Tagging, Major character death - Freeform, Sadness, idk wtf i'm doing, loss of life, poor writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:39:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6672964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DammitWinchester/pseuds/DammitWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I suck at this. Basically short undated diary entries from the reader of her time with Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Miss You

I know your life  
On earth was trouble  
And only you could know the pain.  
You weren’t afraid to face the devil,  
You were no stranger to the rain.  
Go rest high on that mountain  
Son, your work on earth is done.  
Go to heaven a-shoutin’  
Love for the Father and the Son.  
Oh, how we cried the day you left us  
We gathered round your grave to grieve.  
I wish I could see the angels faces  
When they hear your sweet voice sing.  
Go rest high on that mountain  
Son, your work on earth is done.  
Go to heaven a-shoutin’  
\- Vince Gill   
'Go Rest High Upon that Mountain'

*A/N you might need tissues for that.

I know that his life on earth was troubled, and only he could know the pain. I knew that when he started hunting again with his brother he lost the love of his life. Her name was Jessica, Jessica Moore. I never got to met her, and I wish that I could have. You should have seen the way he talked about her. At first it was hard for him, but my god his eyes would light up, he’d even gift me with one of those gorgeous smiles of his, the ones with those dimples. The ones that I would soon fall in love with.

He wasn’t afraid to face the devil. Infact he was the one to put Lucifer back in the cage. He saved us. He save the whole damn world, and no one would ever know that. He took control over Lucifer and jumped into that cage with Micheal locking them both in the cage forever. I’m sure you’ve heard about the demon blood, and I want you to look past that. He was only doing what he thought was best for us. What he thought was a sure fire way to stop Lucifer and the demons before him. The sacrifices that man has made for us, and for me I will never be able to give back to him.

4 years ago when the trails came, I tried to to talk him out of it. I tried to stop him. He thought the trials would purify him, that they would cleans him of all the wrongs from the past. It wasn’t until Naomi informed us of what the trials would actually do to him that they were going to kill him. I could only stand by and watch him fall apart. Confessing that his greatest sin was how many times he let his brother down, how many times he let me down. Sam was ready to die for us, for all of us again. To sacrifice his own life to lock all the demons away in hell forever. Nothing Dean or I could do would change his mind. He would save the world again that night.

Sam didn’t die that night like Naomi had said he would. We stayed in bunker over the next few years, slowly working our way out of the hunting life. Dean got a job at the local mechanic, working his way up to owning his own shop. I helped when I could working the books, ordering parts and sometimes working from home to stay with Sam on his not so good days. Sam got better there for a while. We moved out of the bunker and into our own house not too far away from Dean’s shop. Sam asked me to marry him and we started to plan our future together.

 

Half the doctors we saw couldn’t tell us what was wrong with him. He was always passing out, never gained any weight, yet his lab reports would say he was fine. It wasn’t until we got the second opinion that they noticed something odd. Sam had been diagnosed with leukemia. We went through blood transfusions, chemotherapy and they we’re able to match Dean as a donor for a bone marrow transfusion.

Two years ago Sam’s cancer had gone into remission. Things we’re finally looking up for us. We were going to be able to start a family. Something we have been talking about for months. Months of wondering if this was ever going to be something we could do together. Start a family of our own. 

Six months ago we found out Sam’s leukemia returned and it was much worse than we thought. Nothing we could do would save him. The doctors had tried everything that they could to treat the cancer. There were risky treatments that we could try but Sam wanted nothing to do with them. He wanted to be home with his family.

The cancer had taken its toll on Sam’s body. He was no longer able to move around on his own. Dean had moved into the guest bedroom to help out where he could. Castiel and Crowley would come over often during the week to help take care of me. I never let his side for more than a few minutes always afraid that I would he wouldn't be there when I returned.

Sam’s funeral was today. I’ve never felt so empty, so alone. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my hero. I can only hope that he is in heaven and that it’s with the family he’s always wanted. That he can finally be at peace.

Sam Winchester was the best thing that has happened to me. I would trade my life in an instant for his.


End file.
